Mark and Norm

this is Mark
tall and handsome
emotionally obsolete
this is Norm
who is not Mark
neither tall nor handsome
emotionally unaware
or
unaware emotionally?
who cares what the difference is?
Mark and Norm
have never met
have nothing in common
and cannot be compared
in any way
Mark is 19-years-old
Norm will be 19
23 years from now
Although Norm is
and will be unaware
of Mark's existence for some time
Mark has the same problem
(Wow, they do have something in common)

-wait it gets better-

Mark doesn't and won't
know of Norm's eventual
existence for the same amount
of time
Deja-Vu
(pretty scary)
Now that you know
just how much they
don't have in common
i'll tell you why it doesn't matter.
Mark loved a girl
named Virginia.
Why, i don't know.
Why Mark loved her
or why she was named that
you figure out what i don't know.
Anyway she loved Mark too
Although they were both very shy
and were embarrassed chewing
food in front of each other.

They were deep in love
He didn't have a pierced ear
so they traded retainers
Virginia was bisexual
and Mark was ambiguous
which confused the hell out of
Virginia. O well........
One day during Easter break
Mark went on vacation
to Florida by plane
his luggage ended up
in Florida while he landed in Argentina.

He was booking a flight
back home when whadaya
know he fell in love with a penguin.
They immediately got married
they both have herring breath
and very ugly children
After Virginia caught wind
of this she became alcoholic
so much so she became
poster girl for AA
while she was down
in the dumps she met
Victor a very vicious viper
who actually walked
up to her when she was
passed out on a bar stool
and took advantage of her condition.
That's right, it's
sick i know, but he did it
against my better judgment
even though he owes me a lot
after all; i created him
he asked her to marry him
and took "umph -belch" for a yes.
After that they never
saw each other again
Heartbroken and suicidal Virginia
became a smashing success as a prostitute.

On one dark evening that
will occur about 2.5 years
from now a young man
came up to her asked

"How much," after she
told him he walked
away cussing something
about being able to
rent three limos for
that price. She didn't
want to see him
hard up all night
so she referred him
to her friend Patti
and Paddy she was.
He and Patti went to a
room and they exchanged
words to find out that
they have much in common
they use the same brand
mouth wash, they both
listen to music,
and hate paying for
things they can't get for free.

they stayed up all
night and didn't touch
each other at all
the next day they ran
off and got married
the first night of their
honeymoon she charged
him $480 for the night
before, and he paid it - whatta dude.

Patti was the type
of prostitute who
made her men wear
condoms, constantly.
Well on the night of
the honeymoon
the rubber broke. Not even
three hours later Patti
was pregnant. They picked
names for the baby. If it
was a boy they would name
it Norm if it wasn't a boy
they wouldn't name it Norm.

Patti had twins, one of
which was a girl, and
they could not think of
a name so they raffled
it off at a bingo game.
The other baby was a boy
which incidentally they
did name Norm. Because
the only word he ever
learned was "Why?"
he was given up for
adoption. Two month
s later Norm was adopted by
an anonymous penguin
and her human husband
from Argentina.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY:

Always go where luggage does; you never know where fate may leave you.

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