The Orchestrathe classical concert was unexpected, shocking, myheart scrambled like a mouse across the kitchen lino,the music came in waves that pounded my body, i felt like a violence was committed upon me, my armsstruck out but the air was full of sound, i was tryingso hard to listen with my ears, but was betrayed bymy concentration, i was simply focused onremaining intact, presentable, behaved, but it wasfalse, so false i shook, in the end there was only me& the orchestra, do i have to become a child again,reduced, broken down, cultured, i am too rigid to beeaten alive by music, i plead with sound: do notdestroy me, each note causing pain, each note like a pic chipping away, into twenty six years of stone,finally i could not move, terrified, sculptured, ithacked until, i leant forward & my body jolted to itsdeath with the final clash of the symbols, & what isleft, hardly anything, a wisp of ash, pathetic, joy, theorigin of sound, my body was simply crashed upon,invaded, as if the players needed to reduce me tomusic only, & a cry came out into that hall, secondslater my clothes were wringing wet, what does itmean, this great stupid sobbing inbetween eachviolin, i am a fool, do not bring me here again, i leant back, vulnerable, alone, if i moved an inch iwould disintegrate, finally, nothing more, thanwhere the orchestra chose to take me, suddenly themusic stopped, the applause was thundering, theaudience began to leave & i found myself amongst them, i was starving
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